I have a lot of training and experience in the field of psychology. I can help people with a lot of different problems, but I would have to say that I work best in the field of behavior therapy. I started this blog with the idea that human behavior was modifiable through habit change. I still believe this to be true.
That said, I'm really struggling lately to "counsel" myself out of certain behaviors. Is it an issue of willpower? willingness? habits? desire? I'm not sure. I've been trying to work it out in my head for weeks.
When I was working with volunteers to figure out my Wellness Coaching lessons, a common theme for weight loss was willpower. However, I would give them this example for what willpower does for you... Imagine that you took a double dose of x-lax. Do you think that if you had all of the willpower in the world, that you could avoid the inevitable? I doubt it. It needs to be a permanent change.
So far, I've learned to enjoy drinking water. I've learned to eat healthier meals in smaller quantities. I've learned to enjoy a sport (running) that I formerly hated. I'm a more positive person. I'm happier. I'm healthier. However, I continue to struggle with weight loss. 225-230 is a fine weight. Just not for me.
If you ask anyone who knows me very well, they'll tell you that I'm a good talker. I can argue any point to death until I win the argument. Whether I'm right or not. Unfortunately, this "skill," if you will, also allows me to justify pretty much any action that I do as the right thing to do. I also truly believe that I'm right, most of the time. Which makes it really hard to talk myself out of doing something that I shouldn't... you know... since I think it's the right thing to do at the time.
After that long run of 16 miles the other week, I used my rationalized goal to eat extra calories on days when I burn 1500 or more and ate an extra 800-1000 calories. Except I ate junk food. That wasn't the point of the goal. But that didn't matter at the time. I wanted chips and beer and pizza. I said to myself that it was OK because I had the calories and it didn't matter where the calories came from. I was wrong. I gained weight. After a 16 mile run, I gained weight. After running for nearly 3 hours straight, I gained weight. After burning 2500 calories (1000 shy of a full pound), I gained weight.
So what did I do? I had an easy next two weeks for workouts because of an Ultimate Frisbee tournament and a 10 mile beach race yesterday. I took those two weeks off from my goals because I didn't feel like I was working. I had family in town who wanted to take us out for meals, too. But I wanted to go. I wanted to eat those deep fried meals, the french fries, burgers, etc. So I did. I ate and drank whatever I wanted. I did fine when I was at home, mostly... keeping my food in check. But at this point, the damage is done. It's time for damage control.
I'm not going to finish this 56 Day challenge. I need to take some time to reflect. I'll do another challenge down the road, maybe. I had a friend tell me the other day... "don't give up what you want MOST for what you want NOW." I think she hit the nail on the head.
Right now, I need to figure out what I want MOST. I also need to figure out what I'm willing to sacrifice for it. I'm hoping to spend this week figuring that out. A new challenge may be in order to help me stay on track, but for now, I'm putting a halt on this challenge to figure it all out.
Stay tuned. I'm hoping that I can be back on track soon.
